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Michail Iakovidis Michail Iakovidis (pronounced /ˈəædnlsə/; born September 22, 1980) is a famous Greek scientist/politician/businessman/artist who owns MichailPedia, the Ultimate Encyclopedia. Michail is known as an inexhaustible source of knowledge and conspiracy theories. He is married to Ginafranca Loi of Dorgali, Italy. They are expecting their first child in the fall of 2016. Michail is known to enjoy heavy metal music, fresh PCRs, maximum chaos, and GWAS. When working as a research scientist in the Grangl labhttp://labs.bio.unc.edu/Dangl/ he genetically maps complex quantitative genetic phenotypes. Michail's desire for maximum project chaos, stipulates if the phenotype is dependent on less than three genes, the project is "cash for trash". Once a week Michail plays basketball with a semi-pro basketball team, The Grangl Douche Basketball team. Early life and education Michail Iakovidis was born in Aridaia, a small town close to the City of Thessaloniki in northern Greece. He spent the early years of his life in beautiful Switzerland, where he, according to multiple international secret services https://www.cia.gov/index.html, started laying the cornerstones for his fight against the greedy 1% of the global financial market. After graduating from high school in Greece he went on to a small, but very famous University to perfect and grow his knowledge about ways to help humanity to survive in the future. “Food and free energy for everybody” became his solution for the big problems of the world. In 2005, he earned his BSc in Agricultural Technology at the Technological Institute of Western Macedonia, Branch of Florina, Greece. To give his already gigantic knowledge the finishing touch, he moved on to the land of the Queen - the United Kingdom to earn his MSc in Plant breeding and Biotechnology at the University of East Anglia and John Innes Centre in 2006. In 2011, at the famous Lord Sainsbury Laboratory, Michail gained the title of Doctor of Philosophy (PhD) in 2011 while studying under Colwyn Thomas. Michail also had a short, but intense affair with the Greek military service, where he had to see fellow “to-be-soldiers” cleaning bathrooms with toothbrushes and wasting their precious time with useless things like target practices etc. In the military service he also learned to really appreciate a well cooked meal - “It’s no meal, if there is no meat!”. Scientific career Michail earned his PhD at the Sainsbury Laboratory while studying the genetic complexity of Cladosporium fulvum ECP5 perception in tomato species with Colwyn Thomas. In 2011, Michail left the Sainsbury Laboratory in search of new opportunities and boarded a ship bound for the United States with nothing more than an uncalibrated P200 pipet in hand. He was found by Sarah Grant and Jeff Dangl after a Sunday brunch at the Weaver Street Market in Carrboro, North Carolina wearing no shoes and sign that read “Genetic mapping for nice food" He soon joined the Grant/Dangl laboratory where he began mapping pleiotropic responses to a bacterial type-III effector HopAM1. In his genetic crusade, fueled by a perpetual overdose of Monster Energy Drinks, Michail used two techniques to uncover distinct non-overlapping HopAM1 loci. Michail used QTL mapping in a biparental recombinant inbred population and a complementary GWAS technique. He believed the different outcomes derived from the two methods to be a Russian conspiracy that extended throughout the hierarchy of the Russian Federation, including the Minister of Sports, Vitaliy Mutko. His other notable scientific contribution was the creation of the scientific prediction dice. Dice outcomes ranged from "Your conclusion need thinking” to “your effort is ca$h for trash” Many young scientist have rolled the dice, but no one in the laboratory has ever rolled a perfect double Jeff Dangl: “Your whole project is a goldmine!” To this day, rumors swirl that his scientific career is merely a cover up to conceal his operational control of the Greek Mafia. Michail was often seen in the hallways of Coker Hall and Genome Sciences Building speaking angrily in Greek about shipping collaborations with the Albanians. At the table Every weekday, precisely at noon, Michail has a strategic meeting with a highly selective international committee of his trust to discuss any problems that may be threatening the world. According to secret sources, he has already provided his opinion on and even provided effective solutions for the war in the Middle East, the migrant crisis, Greek economy, the Brazilian corruption, Wan Li’s (non)microwavable pizza, climate change, vaccine rejectionism, colonization of Mars, The Walking Dead, Donald Trump, among others. His advise remains ignored by the leaders of nations so far. Nevertheless, he inspires and educates his followers with his wide knowledge on any subject. Want to know when a specific event took place in history? How far Alpha Centauri is from the sun? Just ask him! Semi-pro basketball career For several years, Michail has sponsored the Grangl Douche Basketball team weekly event by providing rides, water and ice cream to his teammates. Conspirators suggested this was a strategy to buy a position in the highly selective team, but it was found that he has a big heart. Grangl basketball is known for a high level of absurdity, ice cream, and injuries . His basketball career began in 2011 and was marked by outlandish game winning shots. He made 37% (62/168) of these shots and thus achieved Glory. His career was documented in the hit movie Semi-Pro where Michail was portrayed by Will Farrell as Jackie Moonhttp://www.imdb.com/title/tt0839980/. Michail overlapped with other notable players including Surge Biswas, Derek Lundburg, Matt Cowper, and Troy Dang. Observers noted that his playing style was a mix of Michael Jordan, Angela Merkel and a dash of Jason Statham. His signature no-look shooting was a favorite among his teammates and inspired Paulo Teixeira’s banana shot. While many games were played, Michail disliked the rules, including the common basketball “check” in between scoring plays. Michail exclusively played half-court basketball and enjoyed dribbling around while shouting at his opponents “How does he do it?!” His illustrious career came to a close on May 4th, 2016 when he retired from the sport after succumbing to several years of back and calf injures. Kobe Bryant was once quoted "No one really understands how he does it”. Culinary perspective Hailing from the Hellenic Republic, Michail’s culinary tastes are firmly rooted in traditional Greek style exemplified by his own world famous moussaka. Nonetheless, Michail’s chaos approach extends to his eating habits which has born novel and unrecognizable cuisines. Most notably, he is known for the addition of mushrooms and meat to every dish while placing an emphasis on protein content. In a notorious incident that occurred on March 3rd 2015, Michail insisted on the addition of mushrooms to several traditional Chinese dishes. The server and chef shocked by this irrational demand, cursed him in Chinese, only to be calmed by his fellow comrade Li Yang who explained to the staff "著名的和瘋狂的希臘男人，他是一個很大的恥辱". Furthermore, Michail is known for his “sauces” that are made from a mixture of other unknown or questionable sauces. Commonly, his sauce mixtures have a rich creamy texture, tan color and pungent odor. Michail has claimed that these mixtures are superior to any condiment and fit for any dish. Using his random mixture technique, Michail on rare occasions, will create a “cocktail” that is typically sweet, perfumed, pink, and unfit for human consumption. His childhood experiences in his grandmother’s Greek village also shaped his unique tastes. After being told he was eating Chernobyl ice cream, Michail has developed strong opinions on frozen dairy products that influences the Douche Basketball ice cream to this day. He is particularly fond of Magnum novelties made with Belgium chocolatehttp://www.magnumicecream.com/. Michail’s culinary judgment is binary, food is known to him as “This is nice!” or “This is crap”. Nothing in between. For example, nice foods include protein bars, flavored almonds, and a liquid chemical concoction made from radioactive waste, ethidium bromide and bits of “Chavs” marketed as Monster Energy Drinkshttps://www.monsterenergy.com/. While many people are unaware of the size of Michail’s crap list, everyone is aware of his dislike of Hershey’s chocolate. He was once quoted “I would never wish Hershey’s chocolate even on my worst enemies!” El Presidente Casino Michail is the chairman and chief executive officer of the El Presidente Gambling Corporation, which organizes Poker events during the quiet nights of Chapel Hill, NC. He invented a new poker variation, the Greek Hold’em, which is based on chaos and uncertainty. Games consist of approximately 20 hands and are only resolved in the last two hands, when players are encouraged to play “all in” due to time restrictions. Michail is also famous for his El Presidente ''strategy, placing big bets without even seeing the cards. The ''El Presidente Gambling Corporation has also organized a number of board games events, always serving'' lots of foods and drinks. Famous events featured his own creation “Restaurant o’mine", the renowned "Bacteria Game", multiple editions of his war game and an epic fantasy game. Famous quotes * “Conspiracy!” – Whenever contradicted. * “Crap” – Anytime, for anything. * "Swag" - For anything cool. * “This is bullshit” - Anytime, for anything. * "This is pathetic." - Anytime, for anything. * “Come on, Jeff!” – Once, audacious and epic. * “Bah, loser” – Showing how to be a good winner. * "Approved" - Signaling that a specific food pleased him. * “Humiliation” – While showing his impressive basketball skills. * "Shoot for glory" - Motivating his teammates to shoot for epic 3-point baskets. * “Dear colleagues…” – When writing emails to the lab. * “Cash for Trash” - Failed or successful experiments nobody outside the lab is ever interested in. * "Jackie Moon!"- Anytime he is playing basketball. * "What a Douche!" - any random person, but especially frats. Future Michail Iakovidis has announced in 2016 that he will host a new show on YouTube called ''The Daily Conspiracy, in which The Truth about everything will be presented in a completely unbiased manner. He has also manifested interest in bringing Gabriel Castrillo and Wan Li as special guests to debate about polemic topics. Michael will be sorely missed in the laboratory. A warm heart and a gracious host of countless and memorable parties from Halloween to poker nights. Lunch time will be a little less interesting, basketball less entertaining. We all wish you well and hope to see you in the near future. References Category:Browse